Dying
by shannyfish
Summary: In the fight during "Myriad" and "Better Angels", Eliza isn't able to break Non & Indigo's mind control hold on Alex...and things go too far.


**Author's Note:** This is in response to a prompt. Fair warning, you're going to need tissues!

 **Prompt:** In the battle where Alex has the Kryptonite suit and fights, Kara is devastated and doesn't want to hurt Alex, causing her to receive serious injuries and eventually a fatal one.

* * *

 _"There are plenty of ways to die, but only love can kill and keep you alive to feel it."_

 _~ Leo Christopher  
_

* * *

The Kryptonite sword sliced into her, just like it had into Astra.

"NO!" the voices screamed behind her.

The voices weren't alone, eventually Alex's mind screamed the exact thing. She blinked, her mind becoming hers once again. A sharp gasp filled the air. _Kara… Oh God-_ Pulling the sword out of her sister was both easy and hard all at once, she knew that it was necessary because it was killing her sister (in multiple ways) but the sound it made as it exited her broken body and the sound that escaped Kara's lips killed Alex.

"Kara…" she whispered helplessly.

What had she done?

She was being yanked back and she didn't argue. Shock was taking her over, her eyes not leaving Kara. Her mother moved past and Alex realized that her mother and J'onn had been the ones that had been yelling at her before. The sword was taken from her hands and thrown before the Kryptonite suit she was wearing was powered down. Alex looked down at it and then looked up at the face of J'onn J'onzz. "What did I do?" she whispered. "She has to be okay...she has to-" Her voice broke and it hit her hard, the truth of it all. "She wasn't fighting back, I-I couldn't stop-"

"I know," J'onn said quietly.

Her mother was crying as she spoke to Kara. All Alex wanted to do was to go to her sister, to blurt out apologizes that didn't matter, and to try to do everything to make it right...to heal her sister… "It's okay," she heard her sister whisper.

It wasn't.

It wasn't okay.

They couldn't accept this…

Alex wouldn't.

No, Kara _had_ to be okay.

She moved towards her sister, tears running down her face, guilt crushing her from the inside, and fear tearing all hope from her grasp. J'onn was there, he was guiding her she realized and he was right there at her side. Alex still wasn't certain that she could be trusted, that Indigo and Non couldn't control her again and that scared her nearly to the point that she was scared now…

"You have to take her back to the DEO," Alex said as she turned to look up at J'onn. "You have to get her under the light-"

"Alex," Kara spoke, tugging at her. Alex immediately pulled her attention back to her sister. "It's okay…" In spite of everything that was happening, her sister was smiling up at her.

"No," Alex said, her voice breaking at the inference of Kara's condition. " _No_."

"It wasn't your fault," Kara whispered. "It was Myriad. It was Non and Indigo. It wasn't you-"

"Kara-"

She watched as her sister shifted her attention to Eliza, who was holding onto Kara's hand on the other side. Alex watched as her mother openly wept. Alex hadn't seen her mother cry since her father was declared dead by the DEO. "Thank you...for making me part of your family...for being a mother to me...for-" And it was clear that Kara was struggling to finish her sentence.

Eliza leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kara's forehead, tears falling on Kara's face as she did. "I love you, Sweetie. _I love you so much_. I'm _so_ proud of you."

"Alex, I need you to promise me-"

"No," Alex breathed. "We're going to-"

"Alex," she heard J'onn whisper behind her. That killed her all the more. J'onn possessed the ability to regenerate as well and if he was telling her that Kara wasn't going to make it, then she knew that that was the truth...even if it was the last thing that she wanted to accept.

"I _need_ my sister," Alex sobbed. " _Stay_ , Kara. _Please_ … Just hold on."

Kara's hand moved to the neckline of her suit and she tugged at it. Eventually, she pulled out a chain which held a pendant that Alex knew well, it was the necklace that Alura had given to Kara right before she'd been put in the pod on Krypton before it was destroyed. "I will _always_ be with you, Alex," Kara whispered and pushed the necklace into Alex's hands. "You taught me _so much_ and I would have _never_ been the person I am...I would have _never_ been Supergirl without you…"

"I _can't_ take it-"

"You're my _sister_ , you take it," Kara insisted weakly. "El-may-arah…"

"What?" Eliza whispered in confusion.

"Stronger together," Alex whispered as she finally accepted the necklace. She felt like she deserved it in no way. She had Kara's blood on her hands and Alex didn't think that that could ever be seen by herself in any other way. She didn't care that she was under mind control. She had killed the person that she'd loved most in the entire world. How could she even go on without Kara? She was breaking inside. Alex just wanted to trade her life for her sister's, she wanted there to be a way to siphon her own life force to Kara, who deserved to live so much more than Alex did.

It was like her sister sensed everything that Alex felt in that moment. Kara, always so forgiving and loving. Alex still had no idea how her sister had forgiven her for killing Astra not long before...or for lying to her...or for practically anything and everything else in her life that had ever involved Kara. But her sister reached up and pulled Alex to her, holding her in a hug with one arm around her. "Stop blaming yourself," Kara whispered into her ear. "I love you, Alex." Alex squeezed her eyes shut, tears still making their way through just the same. "I'll be with you, always...walking right there with you…" It was so weird that her sister was there dying and her last thoughts were caring of everyone else, to ensure that people knew that they were forgiven and loved and that her life was good with them, and to do it all in a bright and happy tone. Kara's fingers moved through Alex's short hair, trying to comfort her. Nothing could comfort her, though. "I'll be with my mother and father again," she whispered, so at peace with it. "I'll be in Rao's light…"

Alex realized that this wasn't the first time that Kara had been at peace with dying. It didn't help Alex, though.

"Kara," Eliza whispered.

"Don't blame Alex," Kara responded back quietly to Eliza. "It's not her fault…"

"Kara," now Alex gasped.

"J'onn, you have to take care of them," Kara breathed.

It was close to the end, Alex could tell. Her sister wasn't breathing as strongly as she had been before. All she wanted was to switch places with her sister, to give her life to Kara. She wanted to have been strong enough to have been able to resist Indigo and Non's Myriad mind control. She had just wanted to be better...a better sister… Kara had deserved so much more than she'd given her…

"The world _needs_ Supergirl, Kara," Alex breathed as a plea for her sister to stay with them.

" _The world has you_ ," Kara said peacefully and matter of factly just as Alex opened her eyes once again to look at her sister. There was a smile on her face and light in her eyes. No matter what horror and absolute devastation that Kara had come from losing her family and her world, she'd always been sweet, kind, and absolutely filled with a hopeful light that was breathtaking and almost blinding. Kara had a contagious soul that endured and forced people around her to be better…

Inside, Alex was the one emotionally dying. If you could actually die of heartbreak, Alex knew that she was about to as well. Guilt, heartbreak, and grief would just swallow her from the inside.

Death was something that Alex had experienced, she'd lost agents in the field. It was always different than how they portrayed it in film. There was often no final struggle for breath or automatic closing of eyes. Sometimes, they just seemed to freeze in time. Just as quickly as Kara had been thrust into their lives...into their family...and into their hearts away twelve years before, she was being yanked to Rao's light.

A shaky breath left Alex as she just stared down at Kara's very still form, eyes still open, a bright smile still on her face. She watched her, waiting for her chest to rise...for Kara to pull in a breath. It didn't happen. There was no twitch. There was nothing.

"No," she heard her mother whimper. "No…"

Alex knew that she should embrace her mother, to comfort her...but she couldn't. She had been the force that had ended her sister's own life and she didn't think that she could ever look into her mother's eyes and not see blame in them. "Kara?" she shuddered. Alex found herself being pulled away, she knew it was J'onn who had stood so silently behind her. She fought, she didn't want to be taken away or separated from her sister. "No!" she whispered.

He was stronger, though, and he took advantage of that strength. J'onn pulled her up and away from Kara a few feet before turning her in his arms and holding her. "She's gone," J'onn whispered. "Let her be at peace."

Alex pulled and fought against his hold for a moment, not wanting to accept the harsh and horrible reality. Her hand squeezed the pendant that Kara had given her and she held it to her chest. Closing her eyes, she gave into his embrace and just sobbed into his chest, her body nearly collapsing against him. "I…"

"Non and Indigo killed Kara, Alex," he whispered.

It didn't feel like that to her.

She'd experienced it all.

She'd felt it inside of her.

She'd felt the blood on her hands.

She'd been the one holding the sword.

She was the bringer of death.

"She's my sister…"

"And she's always going to be with you," J'onn tried to assure.

Alex looked over her shoulder towards her mother, her hair partially obstructing her view and J'onn holding onto her the entire time. Her mother was rocking slightly, holding onto Kara's hand, and Alex swore she was whispering something. In that moment, Alex realized that her mother thought that she'd lost her husband and the daughter that she'd loved so dearly...that she'd been closer to. Alex had taken Kara from her. Alex knew that she had to get her father back…

"Alex," J'onn spoke softly.

It didn't pull her attention back to him. All she felt was a crushing weight of grief, guilt, and anger. It would have been so much easier if she'd been able to die...with Kara or in her place.

Living was so much harder…

* * *

The End.


End file.
